An important question in life is how to be more confident. Before you join a combat sports gym and if you are not very athletic I suggest building up your strength and some confidence first with push-ups, read my article titled “100 Push-ups a Day“. Some gyms are very demanding and energy intense and coming a little prepared will ensure you don’t give up and drop out after the first class.
So, the next phase of making you bullyproof is the combat sports gym. I’m sure there are plenty of ways but I would like to share my experience on how to gain confidence and find top-quality real friends in one.
Now that you are smooth with the push-ups and got your confidence level up a notch, it’s time to continue and complete the journey. The next stop is the Muay Thai gym. “Are you crazy, I can barely do 20 push-ups and I’m scared to go in there”. That is exactly how I felt when I first entered a boxing gym, my heart was beating, sweaty palms and almost hyperventilating but you have to trust me when I tell you this, people who practice combat sports are THE kindest, friendliest and reallest people you will ever meet. And that is exactly the environment you need and that is where you will find love and respect and ultimately your confidence.
Combat sports is NOT about becoming a fighter unless that is your specific goal. Combat sports is a tool to teach your mind to fight, it doesn’t have to be a person. Life in itself is a fight. We’re fighting some kind of fight every day. Depression, illnesses addiction, worries, insecurities, and the everyday stresses of life and all the responsibilities that come with it. And having the mind of a fighter makes the whole thing so much more fun and easy, and that is the mind I want you to have. Boxing and Muay Thai have personally helped me get out of my cocaine addiction, restored my sex drive, and given me the confidence to go out and grab life by the horns.
The type of combat sport I suggest is Muay Thai, kickboxing, or boxing. You wanna pick a sport where it’s a lot of bag work and you get really physical with a partner in partner training sessions like light back and forth or actual sparring once you get to that level. Doing a bunch of martial arts poses for a belt is less of what we are trying to achieve. A black belt might look good on a picture and a resume, and have you move around smoothly like a ballerina, but doesn’t prepare you for real-life turmoil and how to stay calm in those situations.
And when you have found your gym, the most important step follows. The understanding that this place is not your gym anymore, it’s your home, your sacred space, and it’s part of your life now until you feel ready and confident. And don’t ever quit, no matter how awkward your form or training style might be, just showing up consistently will get you respect around the gym and this is how you will build a bond with the regulars and make new friends of any background or race. And this is how you will become a confident person and feel comfortable around other people. Lastly, I want to say that if the first gym you go to doesn’t feel right, don’t give up, try another. Any good and respected gym doesn’t tolerate disrespect, bullying, or racism and will make you feel welcome and like family.
Last but not least, you will get a woman that is just right for you if you hang in there and get your confidence up. Confidence is like a chick magnet and once you get there you don’t even worry about women anymore because you’re confident with or without a woman.
Daniel Florian
